Yep, I'll write part two of the previous blog soon.
Anyway, right now, I just really need to talk to someone and all of my best friends are busy (because exams are going on in our school). That's why I decided to just write a new post.
Like a gazillion things are going on in my head right now. From examination pressure to preparation schedules to weird stupid stuff to whatever. I'm going through so many things that I don't even know what to write. Instead of stopping for a moment to think about what exactly it is that I'm feeling, I'm just going with the flow for now. Its just a phase and I hope it'll pass soon.
But right now I feel like I need to vent.
So, related to exams. I'm so mad at the education system in my country because it is not well organized or anything. Its just a stupid system which is based on memorization and nothing else. It doesn't care for logical reasoning, understanding or practical applications. UGH it really annoys me. But there's nothing we can do to change it. Sadly.
I had one of my exams today and I know I could've done well but my school didn't give us adequate time for preparation. I did as much as I could've and I am happy for that but I do feel sad that I wasn't able to do more. I don't know how to explain this to my parents. Okay, some context. I was a class topper till two years ago. Last year was not a good year in school or otherwise and I didn't do well in my exams. This year, I've done average, not too bad but not too good either. I certainly should've done better but there came a point where I just couldn't handle school work and entrance exam preparation classes together. I tried to but I couldn't. As a result, my results in both these places went down and I didn't know what to do to improve the situation.
But now I've made a decision and I'm going to focus on one thing now to get the best results from it.
Anyway, now for the weird stupid stuff. I know this may sound like bragging or whatever, but honestly, I'm a really good friend And all of my friends agree. So yeah, since I'm a good friend and all, I don't talk about people behind their backs. But something happened today and I really feel like discussing it with someone but I can't because I don't do such stuff but I can still write about it. Nobody knows about my blog so I can vent here.
Okay so I have a lot of good friends and out of them, a few are my best friends. I won't be mentioning names so let one friend be P and another be Q.
I've been friends with P since like 6-7 years. P and Q have been really good friends since about 2 or 3 years. I've been friends with Q since less than 3 months but we're already so so close and I'm one of Q's closest friends. Q and I talk all the time, literally. So, I don't know why P does this, but P doesn't like it if someone else (me, in this case) becomes a better friend than her with one of her previous friends (Q, in this case). P is saying that she is still the one to know Q the longest and something else (okay, I forgot the second thing). Its not the first time P has done this. She does this everytime.
Like chill down, woman. Its not my fault that I make friends easily and its not fault that people like to talk to me. Its not my fault that Q and I have become best friends now. I don't know why people get jealous or insecure. I mean, I get it, to an extent. But as I said, its not the first time P is doing this.
Though P is also one of my really good friends, this thing about her really annoys me. And I can't even talk about it to anyone because I don't talk about people behind their backs and I usually let things go and be the bigger person. But honestly, I'm human. Things do annoy me at times and I need to vent at times.
Anyway, I always feel better after writing. Its just one of those things that helps one express themselves.
I feel better so let me just say this.
I'm actually very thankful to God for giving me such nice amazing friends. Everyone has their flaws and I have mine too. I'm not perfect and I never expect others to be perfect. Friendship is one of the awesome bonds where two people love, care for, respect, understand and help each other and I'm glad that I have amazing friends who help, guide, motivate, inspire and love me always.
I have to go for now.
Enjoy life x
Blue Claw
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